The 80/20 Rule

The other night i was watching one of the best romantic comedy/dramas i’ve seen since Brown Sugar (slight spoiler below, not too bad). Tyler Perry’s “Why Did I Get Married”, starring Janet Jackson and Jill Scott. To me it was true to life with the good and the bad. Please don’t hate on the movie because it is not predictable or cheesy. The entire cast nailed their roles…both jill and janet both made some fools cry tears of sadness and joy, but i can’t blame them for what they were going through at different times in the movie, I am just stronger than them :).

The main reason why i wanted to write about this is because i wanted to share with everyone (mainly females) the “80-20 Rule” for relationships. This rule was discussed by the four guys (in the movie) while they were sitting outside. The two “good men” were explaining the logic behind the rule to the two less than good men. Don’t confuse this rule with the economic and philosophical rules out there…this one applies to relationships.

The Rule:

In our relationships, our partner is most likely only able to offer 80% of what we need (not want). There are times when we will find someone who fills in the holes, offering the other 20%…and because it’s been missing for so long, you think you’ve finally found what you truly need. You dumb for thinking that just because your man don’t like pizza every night and you found some fat slob that did, that you found your true love. Be careful taking risks of cheating, or leaving your 80%…because what you will be left with, is that 20%. Obviously this is no where near as fulfilling as being with someone who offers 80%, even for those of you that are bad at math, this rule is TRUE! Now of course it had to be address in the movie, but its true. In the movie, one of the guys hates that his wife is overweight…he constantly makes fun of her weight and finds himself a thinner chick which just happens to be his wife’s best-friend, can you say lawsuit or funeral arrangements? He wants to leave his wife for her, and does. Well later on in the movie, he realizes he has this sexy piece of eye candy strapped to his arm…but she ain’t do half the stuff his wife did, hmmm wonder why. So this is where he is left with a banging piece of 20%. Same thing can happen if you cheat with that 20%…you may get caught, get the boot, and lose your 80%.

In real life, i’ve seen this occur in my friend’s and family’s relationships and thoughts have entered my head during my previous relationship as well. You have a man, but there are things he just doesn’t do for you. Maybe it’s that he doesn’t want to DO anything fun, maybe he doesn’t like to gossip or talk about mushy stuff, maybe he’s not as attractive as other guys, maybe he doesn’t satisfy you under the sheets and then…here comes Denzel, who can satisfy every missing link. Tempting, eh?

But you have to ask yourself if the list of things missing is longer than the list of what’s there. Like come on! That list is ridiculous!! Who cares id he don’t gossip, and you a fool for being mad for that. If your list of what he does for you is longer than the few things missing…try to talk to your man and make it work! But if it’s still a lost cause and the thing that’s missing is unfixable, it might be time to skip off in the fog with Humphrey Bogart. I believe that most of those things I have said, lol don’t be scared. I mean come on, if they are missing and they are important to you, then you can’t be satisfied by your relationship, but be smart about what you are asking for. If you and your partner are okay with finding a friend to do the fun activities with you, then no problem, but if it makes you sad that your man isn’t a fun activity partner, then it’s really just a waste of time. Imagine if you just ignore your dissatisfaction and you find yourself married 10yrs later, totally unhappy and feeling locked in! What you think, you can get a divorce and become a “G” again, HA, YEAH RIGHT!! You think women still trying to holla at M-C Hammer? Yeah okay! Good luck out there and don’t ruin a good thing if you got it, and if you don’t got it…move on!